“Where some see a problem, I see an opportunity. What this Scourge fiasco calls for is a creative solution!
Behold--my "secret weapon"!
Controlled by none other than my Carefully Constructed Control Device, or C.C.C.D. for short!
Hmm, that name might need a little work.
You're the first to see it, so that means you'll be the first to test it. But don't worry, I'm pretty sure it's safe.
Good luck!”
